Over recent months those of us who support the dream of an Independent Scotland have had to absorb wave after wave of discouraging news. It seems our Parliament doesn't count any more. A Holyrood vote for another referendum has been deemed to be less important than opinion polls. Now is not the time! Our lords and masters have better things to do than bother themselves with our yapping. We have been told in graphic detail about the Tory surge sweeping across our land like an unstoppable Tsunami. We have been told - firmly - support for independence is wilting with every passing week.
Oh, I nearly forgot, our schools are worse than the Democratic Republic of Congo and Nicola Sturgeon's obsession with Independence is the reason why a whole generation of young Scots are incapable of spelling the word 'THE.'
Night after night, a familiar cast of messengers are paraded across the evening news to tell us there are new sheriffs in every Scottish town complete with blue rosettes on their jackets and Theresa May posters on their walls. There is Mother Theresa herself doing her well rehearsed mummy knows best routine. There is Ruth Davidson wearing her trademark smug look, like the class bully who has just sneaked a dog turd into the bag of the Pakistani boy who is annoyingly good at maths. There is David Mundell who is.... well he's David Mundell.
And then of course there is every newspaper in the land bar two. And the TV. And the pigeons on the window ledges and the blackbirds in the hedges and the kittiwakes gazing out into the vastness of the Atlantic...
There is everyone.
From wall to wall.
From Gretna to Mallaig.
We are told the people of Scotland have finally got over their acid trip and realised London rule is the only way ahead. My god, what were we all thinking of! Of course we can't manage on our own. What a ridiculous thought. No wonder Mother Theresa looks like she is so cross with us. Who wouldn't be? I mean they are good enough to give us our very own parliament and what do we go and do? We only go and vote for another referendum. Which nobody wants. As in absolutely nobody. Not even the kittiwakes. We are like the teenager who is told he can invite a couple of nice friends round when his mum and dad are visiting friends only to open the doors to all the nasty boys from the scheme to come in and take drugs and generally Ned it up.
All over Scotland, people are slowly but surely coming to their senses. We have had our fun but now it is time to grow up and accept life cannot be one long festival. We are finally accepting being a proper grown up people means voting Tory and putting Mother Theresa posters on our bedroom walls. Those of us who lost our sanity and hoped for Independence need to get treatment and learn how to understand what is good for us.
So we need to accept the new reality. We need to wake up and smell the coffee. We need to get with the programme.
Come on now class. Repeat after me....
Now is not the time.....
Nobody wants a second referendum......
Nobody wants Independence any more.......
We all love the Tories......
We all think Ruth is just completely super.......
And David Mundell's beard makes him look like a proper statesman.......
And we all hate Nicola Sturgeon because she's.... well she's just a cow......
Of course this is the whole point of propaganda. If you say it over and over and over and over again, people actually start to believe it, especially when everyone seems to be saying the same thing. And let's face it, over recent months it really has seemed like every man and his dog has lined up against Scottish Independence.
And at times I am sure I have not been alone in staring at the screen and shaking my head in wonder at the thought of anyone buying what Mother Theresa and Ruth Davidson are selling.
And at times it CAN get a little discouraging. We have to dig beyond the TV and the newspapers to find out 48% of us still support Independence. We have to remind ourselves of some primary school maths to realise 46% support for the SNP is actually quite a lot more than 24% support for the Tories.
Well my fellow 'YES' travelers, here is something which I think should give you plenty of heart.
You no doubt watched the 'foodbank nurse' do her stuff on the BBC's Scottish leaders debate. And you no doubt watched the unionists have a collective orgasm as they celebrated the First Minister's humiliation.
A few days ago I wrote a pissed off blog about it. As a food bank manager, I was worried people might stop donating food if they thought we were were doling out free grub to people earning thirty grand a year.
My hope? To be honest I didn't set the bar very high. I just hoped the word would spread around locally and food donations wouldn't fall off a cliff. I would have been more than happy if four or five hundred readers had turned up at my page to read what I had to say. My main hope was for one of the local papers to pick up the thread and take my concerns to a much larger local audience.
So what happened next rendered me well and truly gobsmacked. As I write this, 95,437 people have read my take on the sorry tale of the BBC's pet food bank nurse.
It is a figure which needs putting into proper context. I am not remotely well known. I am a food bank manager from bloody Dumfries who has written a few books which nobody seems to want to buy. I am a one man band of the garage variety. I'm an inconsequential middle aged bloke in a sleepy little town. And yet 95,437 people pitched up to read what I had to say.
That is 2% of the population of Scotland for Christ's sake. Had my blog been a UK wide thing, the equivalent number of reads would have been 1.2 million.
So I have do some Googling to check out what kind of readership the Unionist rags enjoy. And you know what, what I found kind of made my day.
Check it out. These are daily circulation figures.
The Scotsman - 32,000
The Scottish Daily Express - 44,000
Daily Telegraph (Scottish Edition) - 15,000
Scottish Daily Mail - 91,000
Wow. With all of their massive resources and sense of entitlement this is all they are actually good for. And yet their journalists are wheeled out by the BBC every night as if they speak for everyone.
Now I am not making out I am anything special here. I'm not. The fact that the number of people who read my blog was more than any of the listed unionist rags get on an average day is not evidence of my words being anything special. What it is clear evidence of is that support for 'YES' is absolutely still alive and kicking. There can be no other reason.
So take heart. All this talk of a Tory surge and a collapse in support for Independence is nothing more than last ditch propaganda. Just because they all say it doesn't mean it is remotely true. If it was true, they would sell more papers.
These last few days have been pretty interesting. I have been called a fascist, a cybernat, a bully and even sectarian! I can't say I have lost any sleep. Instead I feel well and truly buoyed up.
95,437 reads of my blog show the army of 'YES' is well and truly in tact and ready to roll. They might have almost all the media on their side but it won't make any difference in the end.
The Taliban have a saying which is chilling in it's truth.
"They have all the clocks but we have all the time...."
By the way....
The number is now 96,236.